!!

I can't remember the last time I ever felt like this, this being “unable to describe what I feel, feeling that it is too much to be put in words”. All I can say…Let me start with this scene, Me infront of the Nile before Semeramis, at my favorite spot to have a "floka", the weather is incredible, a little bit cold, just like it was always in my dreams. It is almost sunset, and the sky looks beautiful every thing was perfect, and what made it even better than my dream is that it is for real, and above all, he was there, just the way I wanted him to be, very close but,.....
Here comes the shock, I am stunned, fixed in my place, looking around and can’t make the step, can’t treat the surroundings as if they were,… as if they are real,…can’t treat the surroundings as the fact that they are real. I started crying, I did not know what stopped me from having something that I want. After waiting all these years to have this scene about to be complete, I did not share in the final act, and actually stopped the movie for no reasonable reason. I have no idea what went wrong. Am I scared to have what I want? What am I waiting for?