Life is too short to live it as someone else

I need time (time)
Love (love)
Joy (joy)
I need space
I need me
(Action!)




Say hello to the girl that I am!
You're gonna have to see through my perspective
I need to make mistakes just to learn who I am
And I don't wanna be so damn protected
There must be another way
Cause I believe in taking chances
But who am I to say
What a girl is to do
God, I need some answers
What am I to do with my life
(You will find it out don't worry)
How Am I supposed to know what's right?
(You just got to do it your way)
I can't help the way I feel
But my life has been so overprotected
I don't need nobody's Tellin me just what I wanna
What I what what what I'm gonna
Do about my destiny
I Say No, No Nobody's telling me just what what what I wanna do, do I'm so fed up with people telling me to be Someone else but me

(Britney Spears song: “Overprotected”)

I can not believe that after all the time that passed, I will feel this. I can not remember the last time this thought conquered my head, not in the past 2 years at least. But before that, most of my life I was usually under the pressure of pleasing every body around. Every one figured me in a certain template and expects me to be just like he/she imagined. For sure I always failed, cause by time I realized that I am fighting for nothing, Consequently, I suddenly stop doing the things I did not want to do from the first place. By 18, I realized that I do not have to start walking on the same track and stop in the middle of it. I can simply refuse to go through it and that is it. It took me too long to start acting “RIGHT” for the sake of myself. They never realized the pressure they exerted on me. It was always subtle, and for them I was always stubborn and I never listened. They never knew that I might fight and yell, and then between me and my self I try to be the one they wanted me to be or at least consider it. After college, things were settled, I was fine with my life, things were going great, I was proving every word I ever said through out my life. I proved I am capable of adapting, I proved I am capable of succeeding in whatever I would do, and I proved that every thing is meant to be done at a certain time by God's will. I stopped listening to what they say, and I did whatever I like. Those days were nice, and very comfortable. So I can’t believe that I can return to where I was. I hate it when I am not fine, when I am not stable, I hate it when I am like that. Yet still, I don’t want to pay the price of needing help, by let them set a pattern for me and expects me to fit in. I may be messed up, lost, and unstable now, but soon I will figure out what I would do. When I am ready, I will take the right steps in the right direction “from my perspective” and I will be ok, simply because I did it my way.