A part of me thinks of you as my enemy

A part of me thinks of you as my enemy, or may be not really my enemy, but some one that is not on my side within certain contexts.

You can not imagine how bad I feel when this thought conquers me. It feels like I can not trust you enough, and that we might be drifted apart all of a sudden, not particularly for something that is worth it. We might fight over a stupid thought just cause we are not on same side. Imagine if one day we face a real problem, or have an issue going on between us. Imagine if other people are involved. I am not sure we will be together by the end of the day.

If you only sees your self in the mirror, considering only what you feel and think. By this you will never see my point of view, or understand the way I feel. If this is happening now, so what is happening next? I might go along with this at first, but later on I will give up on every thing, including me and you. I suffered so much from people of this kind, suffered from being not considered. So when things go on like this, and no one considers my thoughts and feelings, I start considering my self. And right then, we won’t be on the same side.

Apart from this, there is something that tears me apart. It is when I feel for you while feeling that I should not. When I feel that I am stupid for letting you feel comfortable that I am by your side. When you take me for granted, I hate my self for it, I even hate you too. And I set us apart for awhile, as a punishment for both of us. Things can work for a while, then get messed up again. I start to resent you, your existence in my life, and every thing that has to do with you. I am caught in the middle between the joy of feeling that I am finally yours and the resentment of the feeling of being taken for granted. I do not know what to do with my self or with you.Would you figure out a solution before I do? As my solution will be harsh for me and you, and I don't want to end up alone without you.

Dedicated for all the ladies who have been taken for granted, and who suffered from their partners' selfishness.